Sweet Dreams are Made of These

DoorWhat do the children see?

A shaggy blonde boy with dirty fingernails and huge bright blue eyes smiling as he is making a hotdog.  The T.V  is yelling in the background over a group of other children.  He deflects this screaming and runs out to join his friends who are waiting outside to play.  Children begin to develop road maps in the brain.  Patterns they embed to help them feel safe in times of trauma.  These safe places become a place to hide. Children begin to stop questioning and growing because they run to their safe place which offers no way for them to express their own views or ask questions. When a rush of emotion hits me them, they cannot process them individually.     The children finally separate.  They learn no one is in control.  The parent’sClip Art Illustration of a Little Boy Holding a Bowl of Soup authority and credibility are now  threatened.

What do the children see?

In school we teach children answers to questions with questions.  We are taught to criticize books and research.  Criticism becomes the center of learning in their educational world.  They become very skilled at it.  Therefore as a teen we criticize everything and criticism becomes a way of finding answers and questioning beliefs.  But on this thin line is also cynicism.  It draws conclusions but it trashes beliefs.  We must keep them questioning and thinking.  Performance is empowering  and they must be encouraged to express their own views so their fears are  numerous but warranted.

What do the children see?

In Nick Pollard’s book, “Why do they do That”, he talks about the parallels of drugs and pain.  We all reach for something to ease the pain,  but when it wears off the pain is greater.  Many will try other ways that don’t work. These stages bring with them a heightened sense of perception. The pain remains and grows. The sadness and a catatonic state are the only way they know to react. It can be scary and lead to a downward spiral.  We must teach our children that all pain cannot be taken away.  They must live through it, to grow, thrive and transform.  They must have commitments and obligations.

What do I want my children to see?

A love so deep that even in silence they can still hear my voice.  I would love to hear your reaction or responses.  Please let me know what you think.



7 thoughts on “Sweet Dreams are Made of These

  1. What do I think???? Never mind the gaping hole in my chest, I’ll be happy enough if you simply loosen your grip, so blood starts flowing again.
    I believe we will have to return to some of the old ways if this Country and World is to survive. With all the hate, violence, and anti-social attitude a large percentage of young people exhibit in this day, I fail to see how man can and will continue to be a social creature very much longer.
    So many don’t have the manners and basic qualities needed to even attempt being a decent Citizen.
    I like the ingredient you add so well…. Good Parenting!!!!


    • I am sorry. I am not sure if we are on the same page here. As I looked on your sight, I believe you may have misunderstood how dedicated I am to the outcome of my children and to the children of my neighborhood who feel safe enough to engage at my house?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh no, I got you loud and clear, its the indifferent of this world I wish I could make sit in a class of yours after school, and see how they have taken so much of Our Childrens future. And that’s just the fortunate ones who haven’t been treated REALLY bad. I know 2 Brothers who fall into the bottom of that class….

        Liked by 1 person

      • This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I started the G+page sometime in August, and to say I started on a certain date or time is not the whole story., because I have a way of protecting people from their own selves. You yourself are very wise, what is your first thoughts after meeting a new friend, and somehow it gets worked into the conversation that he is a Irish-Comanche son of a poor farmer, who was one of the few Comanche’s in WW2. His step-Father, who was Army Secret Service, hated the brothers from the start to this day. from day1, and I know of no one who endured the abuse these brothers did. But far from the stigma that follows people brought up in this environment, the Brothers were driven from day one, nothing was ever good enough. Now if I throw in started playing piano about 5, soloed at age of 13, played his trumpet on Bourban street before his 15th birthday…. what would you think???? We do not let anyone call us a SOB, a thief, or a liar.
        So maybe you can understand why this is the hardest thing I have ever done, I do not deal with anyone being nasty, rude, or physical with women and children. I also champion anyone who cannot deal with a bully. But I cry almost every article I am forced to read about bad abuse.
        I enjoy talking with you, you empower me, so I am going to go to work amid the disproving eyes of the StrongBow Ladies. You have a good evening Ma’am, but be aware, if you reply, I will return….


  2. Reblogged this on NOT IN MY WORLD!!!! and commented:
    In the pursuit of a feel-good society, where I, I, I, me, me, me, is all that’s important, we lost something along the way….. OUR CHILDREN!!!! They are standing in a court room, being tried as ADULTS because WE FAILED THEM!!!! Then there’s the others that hadn’t been caught yet; we can make this nice and orderly with lines and groups like the first group have, like finger-print lines, bookin lines, chow lines,etc.. Ok, now part of them will be in the .. OH I KNOW, the Al Capone line, that fits since most of them think they’re some kind of gangster, but these will be in hospital lines getting their coctails and shots, OH YEAH, THIS IS THE AL CAPONE LINE, you knew he died of syphlis or some kind of STD didn’t you???? Now don’t go getting mad at me I DIDN’T GIVE IT TO THEM, AND MY BOYS DIDN’T EITHER, I know because my Boys – ALL 4 OF THEM, ARE MEN NOW, GOOD MEN!!!! So you get where I’m going with this.
    I didn’t let my Television babysit my boys, I didn’t let My War Horse or My Pickup babysit my boys(and I dang sure didn’t let one of My Boys die by his self in a Hundred and Fifty Degree vehicle!!!! While we’re at it, I didn’t turn My Boys loose and not know where they were and have an eye on them. I can just imagine some of these non-parents, “I decided to save for somekinda widget, Joe old buddy, so I said to heck with the babysitter, because I noticed the new neighbor is always watching all the kids in the neighborhood. So I just know he would enjoy having a couple of more to watch”….
    People, it is time we took Our Children off the street, away from the Child Predators, and taught them the ABCs of being a GOOD NEIGHBOR, BEING A GOOD CITIZEN, and BEING PART OF A FAMILY.
    Come on, we all start early on a New Years Resolution


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